​Groups Offering Civility On-Line Resources

• Better Angels
• Civility Center
• Essential Partners
• Institute for Civility in Government
• John Hopkins Civility Institute
• National Institute for Civil Discourse
• Purple America

Books

• Sno-Isle’s Civility First for Children reading list: Great choices for exploring courtesy, manners, kindness and mindfulness from Sno-Isle Libraries.
• Sno-Isle’s Civility First for Teens & Adults reading list: Modern guides to the art of manners and etiquette to help us connect in today’s busy, tech-focused world from Sno-Isle Libraries.
• Reclaiming Civility in the Public Square, 10 Rules That Work. Cassandra Dahnke, Tomas Bowling, Donna Bowling. Livermore, CA: WingSpan Press, 2007.
• Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. Roger Fisher and William L. Ury, New York: Penguin Books, 2011
• Choosing Civility. P.M. Forni, NY: St. Martins Press, 2002
• The Civility Solution, What to Do When People Are Rude. P.M. Forni, NY: St. Martins Press, 2008.
• Uncommon Decency, Christian Civility in an Uncivil World. Richard Mouw, Downers Grove, Illinois: VP Books, 2010.
• Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life. Marshall B. Rosenberg, Encinitas, CA: Puddledancer Press, 2015.
• Healing the Heart of Democracy. Parker J. Palmer, San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 2011.
• George Washington’s Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation. George Washington, Carlisle, MA: Applewood Books, 1988.
• Crucial Conversations: Tools for talking when stakes are high. Patterson, K, Grenny, J, McMillan, R, Switzler, A, , New York, NY: McGraw-Hill, 2002.
• Compassionate Assertiveness, How to Express Your Needs & Deal with Conflict While Keeping a Kind Heart.  Sherrie M. Vavrichek, Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, 2012.
• How Civility Works.  Keith Bybee, Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press, 2016.
• Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace.  Christine Porath, New York, NY: Grand Central Publishing, 2016.​

Civility Tools

Guide for Conversations Across the Red-Blue Divide: This guide will help prepare you to speak about what is most important to you in ways that can be heard, and to hear others’ concerns and passions with new empathy and understanding—even and especially if you continue to disagree.

Beyond “them” and “us” in the church: The power of dialogue: Must register to view​Civility Tools

​Civility Videos

​Unlikely friends unite to promote ‘Civility First’: Video from King5 on the formation of Civility First.

Whidbey Island neighbors spread civility: Video by King5. On Whidbey Island in Puget Sound, a wave of civility is washing through bringing communities together. KING 5’s Eric Wilkinson reports how kids are helping lead the way.

TV Spots from Values.com about Civility: Be inspired by watching Values.com’s latest videos!

UT’s Civility Message: A public service campaign video by the University of Tennessee on civility on campus.

How Our Friendship Survives Our Opposing Politics TED Talk: For Caitlin Quattromani and Lauran Arledge, two best friends who think very differently about politics, the outcome of the 2016 US presidential election could have resulted in hostility and disrespect. Hear about how they chose to engage in dialogue instead — and learn some simple tactics they’re using to maintain their bipartisan friendship.

​Quotes on Civility

Speak not injurious words, neither in jest or earnest; scoff at none although they give occasion.
-George Washington

We must not be enemies, though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.
-Abraham Lincoln

The most practical kind of politics is the politics of decency.
-Theodore Roosevelt

The more you know about another person’s story, the less possible it is to see that person as your enemy.
-Parker J. Palmer

In America, we’ve got to learn how to disagree without demonizing each other.
-Pastor Rick Warren

They shouldn’t speak disrespectfully about anyone, but they should be peaceful, kind, and show complete courtesy toward everyone.
-The Common English Bible (Titus 3.2)

10 Rules for Civility in the Public Square

​(FROM THE INSTITUTE FOR CIVILITY IN GOVERNMENT)

1. Know yourself. You have to start with an awareness of your own beliefs, perceptions, and prescriptions.
2. Listen with your strength. Listening is a high-energy exercise that requires your full attention and focus.
3. Respect: differences are enriching. Understanding the different concepts people have about important topics helps us reexamine our own values.
4. Listen with your mind. Engage your mind and wrestle with what you are hearing.
5. Help comes from the most unexpected places. The reality is that you must deal tomorrow with those you disagree with today.
6. Relationship is everything. It is the nature of human beings to listen more readily to those they know and trust.
7. Listen with your heart. True listening requires you to risk taking opportunities to broaden your understanding and be open to change.
8. Trust, trust, trust. Trust is earned over time, but lost in a heartbeat.
9. One is powerful. One person who sees the need for change can make a difference.
10. Numbers count. Organizing those who value civility increases the impact of their voices.